


A Lesson in Momentum and Collision

by WheatleyHastings, yugidementia



Series: Brian Wecht AUs [2]
Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Accurate College Experience™, College AU, Other, Permanently On Hiatus, Professor AU, Rating will probably change as this continues, Slow Burn, Snark, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WheatleyHastings/pseuds/WheatleyHastings, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugidementia/pseuds/yugidementia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your first meeting with Dr. Wecht is less smooth than you'd hoped. And the foundation for the rest of your relationship. [Professor AU, Brian is a single, tenured Physics professor.]</p><p>[[Discontinued]]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pretty Hard

The first time you meet him it’s a strange sight, this average white guy standing in front of a fairly large lecture hall. Salt and pepper haired, short, white professors are predominant at this college but he’s the first to wear a “I ♥ Theoretical Physics” tie against a dark green sweater vest paired with khaki pants.

It’s almost absurd, you can’t help but make a tweet about this man; his bushy eyebrows together in concentration over a book and he sits at the edge of his desk, but in contrast with his ankle socks and loafers has this loud, dorky tie on.

He notices you as you tuck your phone into your pocket and stands up straight, putting down the linguistics journal and removing his glasses. He offers a smile, the kind every other professor that doesn’t hate their job has given you.

“You’re here for Quantum Physics 3010?”

“Yeah! Looks like I made it to the right class. You must be Professor.. Dr. Wecht?”

“That’s me,” he nods and reaches his hand out to you and you shake it as firmly as you can muster, trying to leave a good impression.

After your hand is back at your side, the atmosphere becomes quiet again since you’re more than ten minutes early.

“So, a doctorate? Was it difficult getting your Ph.D?” you say after clearing your throat, trying to break up the awkwardness.

He snickers a little, the professional facade slipping a bit at such a redundant question.“Oh, extremely hard.”

You automatically start to respond, “Just like my dick!” as you do with your friends but stop yourself too late to disguise it.

You feel the warm blood in your cheeks as you flush and start to apologize.

“I am so sorry, it’s just that I always just make these jokes with my friends-”

You stop the rambling when he awkwardly laughs and looks away, the flush just visible on his cheeks.

“I’ll just...go sit somewhere,” you mumble more to yourself than to him as you begin survey the chairs.

You take a seat in the first row on the sidelines that way you can hear everything but don’t have to make direct eye contact with him. Once again you’ve got Twitter opened up to vent your embarrassment: “I CAN’T BELIEVE MY FIRST WORDS TO HOT PROF WAS A DICK JOKE.”

You sooth your nerves by scrolling through your feed as other students begin taking their own spots, the room gradually full of the sounds of people walking, unscrewing water bottles, flipping through papers.

“Alright, I think we can start the introduction, looks like most of you are here,” you hear him say, not quite authoritative. You once again pocket your phone and accept the stack of papers he hands you.

“If you could pass the syllabus so everyone gets a copy,” he uttered as he paced back over to the place you first saw him in, squarely ahead of his desk.

You grabbed yours and handed it off nervously, wondering why he handed the stack to you and not literally anyone else. To taunt you? Because he knew you the best so far? Some kind of mathematical formula about passing papers?

“Welcome to Quantum Physics 3010. If that is not the class on your schedule, now is a good time to leave,” he pauses and you don’t hear any movement, “I am Professor Dr. Wecht. Yes, I have a Ph.D.” He tries to shoot you a look but you make yourself preoccupied with pulling the binder out of your backpack, cursing him for that slight jest in his voice you swear you heard.

“Before we get into the nitty gritty of the class, I want you to know that the seat you have chosen is now your seat for the semester,” he’s interrupted by the low murmuring discontent in the crowd. You feel a little bit of dread in your stomach.

“Look guys, I know this isn’t your first day of college but people still switch seats and I’m tired of it. Don’t steal the spot someone has been sitting in for three weeks. They might be sitting in that spot for specific reason and even if not, don’t be a jerk. Plus it makes it easier for me to learn all sixty names if you don’t move.”

“As you can see on the syllabus, my office hours are Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. and Tuesday, Thursday 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. If you have questions, feel free to make use of those hours, or just email me if it’s a simple question. If your question is on the syllabus, I won’t respond. Seriously guys. Read the syllabus.”

You roll your eyes a little, but quickly highlight some important things on it as he emphasizes them. This makes you look like a great student and allows you to avoid all the eye contact he directs your way.

“The first paper if due in two weeks, which is listed on the syllabus of course. It will be based on all the readings assigned before it’s due…” and he continues detailing the really specific formatting he wants for the papers.

Not much out of the ordinary happens except when someone mentions that they haven’t gotten the code for the online book yet and asks what they should do.

“Oh, you might as well drop the class,” he announced, letting the silence deaden for a moment before chuckling, “Just kidding, you can just share with someone until then.” It goes back to the standard talk of the online quiz scheduling, that you will have two exams instead of one cumulative exam at the end, etc.

As soon Dr. Wecht dismisses class, you pack up and are in the hall before anyone else, on the way to the textbook center to get your online book code. You’re in and out with your code before the rush of other students are in for theirs. You briskly walk home, do the first reading assignment and then tune into Netflix, trying to sweep the awful dick joke incident from your mind.


	2. Junk Mail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Brian gets a rise out of you, and you attempt to retaliate.

You spent the first week of the semester binge watching enough of Bojack Horseman before finally working on the dreaded essay for Dr. Wecht. Thankfully, you made it through that week avoiding any further confrontation with the professor, like the incident never happened; his classes were only lengthy lectures and dry humor. (You rolled your eyes at the jokes because you didn't want to laugh to attract attention to yourself.) He always had you hand out papers now and you always avoided his icy blue eyes when he placed the stack in your hands.

That Friday, after doing the awkward handing over papers to you, the professor had reminded the class about the paper.

“One week from today I expect your first paper for this class. Please email it to me, it’s easier that way-- happy professor means happy grade. And remember, this isn’t high school, you can’t just do this the night before.”

You quietly scoff and he shoots a look in your general direction but can’t tell who it was.

He clears his throat out of irritation, “I’m going to take roll today to see if I’ve been successful in learning your names yet.”

You feel the acid in your stomach more acutely than usual as he looks across the lecture hall.

He settles his gaze on the kid also in the first row, on the opposite site of the room. His adenoidal voice is the only sound in the room, reciting names followed by little hums of satisfaction to himself as he gets them all correct. You admire the room, your eyes anywhere but on him as he gets closer and closer to you.

He pauses abruptly, breaking the flowing rhythm and you shift your focus on him, immediately your eyes meeting his. You uncomfortably adjust your hair, attempting to avoid his scrutiny.

“Forgive me but...your name has completely slipped my mind,” Dr. Wecht breaks the silence with a casual voice.

You grit your teeth and utter out your name, hating having everyone's attention on you and especially hating the faint smirk on the professor’s face.

“Of course, right, I won’t forget it again, I promise,” he says, the sincerity is almost convincing but you hear the mocking tone under it.

Your face is radiating heat, the color like faded red pen and you wanna groan out loud in frustration. He leaves you alone to stew for the rest of the class period, and you don’t know if you’re relieved or more pissed off.

You settle on being pissed off about the humiliation and it spurns you to get back at him the only way you know to. You purposefully stride over to the library and settle yourself in for an all-nighter, surrounded by snacks and different resources the librarians helped you find. You write the entire thing, not quite sure what to do when you start it but push through with sheer determination to wipe that smugness off Dr. Wecht’s face. The next couple days you have a few classmates look over and critique it and finally turn email it on the Friday it’s due.

You make sure to loudly boast to your fellow classmates that you wrote the essay right before class and shrug, feeling his watchful gaze on you. When you look at him before class starts, his expression is flat rather than it’s usual smug. You smile to yourself, knowing you can get under his (sweater vest) collar if you try. You’re going to have fun this semester.

Since it’s a Friday and you’ve just spent the past two weeks hunkered in at home, you decide to go do something as a treat for finishing the paper. You head to the mall and visit Lush, admiring the new line of decadent bath bombs that you lack the bathtub for. You’re perusing the lip tints when your phone vibrates in your pocket.

You unlock the screen to a new email from Dr. Wecht, shattering the calm you had found in the assortment of soaps. You know you submitted your paper, the email concise and formal, as if you didn’t make a dick joke. Needing to know what this was about, you open it already seeing how short his response is.

 

**Subject Line: Regarding your Quantum Phy. Essay**

I was reading over your paper, not bad, but I couldn’t help but wonder…

How hard was it?

-Dr. Wecht

 

You start to get irritated, he better not be fucking referenci--

your thought is cut off by the phone vibrating in your hand, a second email.

 

**RE: Regarding your Quantum Phy. Essay**

To write this paper, I mean?

-Dr. Wecht

 

You thin your lips in annoyance, already certain of two things:

1) You hate this professor

2) God is dead and your professor killed him.

You groan frustratedly and press ‘reply’ and then ‘text to speech.’ Too annoyed to type, you utter your response into your phone.

 

**RE: RE: Regarding your Quantum Phy. Essay**

Dr. Professor Dr. Wecht,

don’t.

you over glorified substitute teacher.

 

You send it, embarrassment keeping your face hot as you shove the phone back into your pocket. You visit a few more stores and pick up a snack or two for home and leave. Once you get home and settle in, your phone vibrates again but you ignore it. You’re already on your laptop and you know it’s Dr. Wecht, so you open a new tab.

 

**RE: RE: RE: Regarding your Quantum Phy. Essay**

I prefer "Your social life is about as exciting as the derivatives of e^x" when it comes to insulting me as a person.

-Dr. Wecht, overglorified Substitute Teacher

  
**RE: RE: RE: RE: Regarding your Quantum Phy. Essay**

Sorry, it’s just I always joke like that with my friends.

-Dr. Wecht, overglorified Substitute Teacher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The snark is #real  
> (Let us know if you'd prefer it to be broken up more/formatted a bit differently. I'm not sure if this is really blocky and hard to read)


	3. Big Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Brian won't let you forget about the dick joke fiasco, and gives the class a ridiculous assignment you can't keep quiet about

When you came to drop your bag off before running to get coffee, you found your essay laying on the tabletop of your seat. You picked it up to see what it was, and sure enough it was the essay. There were standard comments in neat red ink as you flipped through, but the most obvious was the smiley face on the front. Underneath the emoticon was “looks like it wasn’t too hard,” ‘too’ underlined twice. You huffed out a little sound of amusement and annoyance and he looked up from his desk. 

“See you got your paper,” Dr. Wecht’s voice chimed in.

“You are such a dork.” 

“That’s me, Dr. Wecht, Dork,” he smiles and does mocking finger guns.

“Where’s the rest of the papers?” you motion to the barren desks in the room.

“Oh, I didn’t feel like printing them all,” he says casually.

“So you...just printed mine?” 

“What? It wasn’t that _hard_ ,” he cheekily grins and you flush a little. He’s never going to let this die and you hate the flash of embarrassment that burns your stomach, but you can’t hate him and you shoot back a small smile.

The smile is still on your face as class starts as he begins explaining the class’ online grading system.

“You guys all check your Engrade account, right? If not you should start, honestly what are you doing if you don’t? Anyways, as with every other class, grades will be updated under the grades tab of Quantum Physics 3010. And, since you use Engrade, you know you’ll also get a notification on your dashboard. I’d recommend you turn on settings to get an email about these notifications, it’ll save you a lot of trouble.”

He wraps up and asks if there are any questions. One student raises his hand in a way that is noncommittal to match his small frail demeanor. When the professor calls on him he’s got the same look you’ve seen on the faces of kids about to be swirly-ed. 

He starts his question, “This is uh, sort of unrelated but uh, Professor Wec-”

"It’s Professor Dr. Wecht,” he interjects. “I mean, I didn’t get this Ph.D for nothing,” he chuckles.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry Dr. Wecht I-” he sputters, his face turning degreeing shades of red.

“But, yes, what were you going to ask?” Dr. Wecht says, sincerity in his voice, as he steps closer to the student to make sure he can hear him.

“I-I was just curious when the next paper was?”

“Excellent timing, Mr. Nolt, actually,” he says as he turns to his desk and pulls out a neat pile of papers. He winks at you as he passes them to you, and you study the crisp stack of papers. He said he didn’t feel like printing out the rest of the classes’ essays, but had time to print this large stack of handouts? Or rather, did he have time to print yours among these? You raise an eyebrow at the papers, but nevertheless hand them to your classmates.

“You can read the specifics, but this is a fifteen page paper on wave function. You’ll have two weeks to do it.”

He pauses intentionally, anticipating the exact reaction that follows. You sigh dramatically and the students around you are already starting conversations about how they literally don’t have time to do this on top of other classes, work, and clubs.

As most of the students are leaving the class, filling the hallways, you stomp over to Dr. Wecht’s desk.

"I actually had a question,” you say evenly, he directs his attention from the papers on his desk to you. 

“Yes?” he cocks his eyebrows, a little smile on his lips.

“ Yeah...are you fucking kidding me with this shit?" you say just as evenly as before, putting the handout he gave you on top of the papers he’s working on.

"What?" he stops organizing the papers and sets them down.

"15 pages?! It's not even midterms yet! At least a substitute would have the decency to assign this as our final, you ABSOLUTE-"

"Dick?"

You close your eyes, your face heats up, and you suck in a breath through your nose before you finally speak. “Sure! Why NOT.”

“Listen, I can give the class more time if that’s the issue-”

“No, no, no, how about you assign us a third of the required pages and I _won’t_ fight you after next class?” you place your hands on his desk so he can’t ignore you.

“Whoa, whoa, who’s the one in charge here?” he laughs while he taps his stack of papers on his desk to straighten them, taking out the handout you had placed on the top.

“Alright,” he sighs, relenting, “5 pages.” He crosses out the ‘15’ on the handout, replacing it with a ‘5’. He hands the paper back to you, a slight smirk on his face.

You squint your eyes at him, glaring, as you lift a hand off his desk to accept the corrected handout. You don’t know what to say, did you win this argument? He gave up fairly easily and you’re not sure if 15 pages was ever the actual assignment. 

“I don’t know why you were so surprised, it’s on the syllabus. I saw you highlighting it,” he points out. 

You don’t feel like correcting him, you only skimmed it because it was 6 pages. More importantly, why was he watching you highlight it during class? 

“Well, thanks,” you fold your arms, backing away from his desk. You look him up and down with contempt, and after a moment, say: ”See you later, _Professor_ ,” and leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support we've gotten for this fic!!! God we love it alot and we're glad you guys do.
> 
> We're going to announce:  
> that more or less we've tried to update weekly, 1k a chapter. We're going to adjust that a bit and shoot for 3-5k every two weeks. More plot! Substantial updates that take time to read! Which also means we can get the the smut faster and more feasibly which is always cool.
> 
> ALSO: Brian read the description for our other Brian/Reader fic on the Retro Give Grumps stream and we are not ok   
> [http://getwechtd.tumblr.com/post/140546434653/wheatleyhastings-in-which-brian-reads-the-tags-of]


	4. Smut Break

Hello, while you wait for the next chapter of this fic, have some smut set in this universe set in the future  
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6249946

**Author's Note:**

> There's bound to be a casualty in war.


End file.
